New levels of frustration

I am totally going to be real with you.  I am at a frustrating point in my journey.  I am doing my Insanity Max:30 workouts, and following the schedule, but I really need to get my butt on board with the eating plan.   I can't seem to stay focused on my eating habits.  I think part of it is that my EBV is flaring up, and I am eating for convenience because my energy is not where it needs to be.  I don't think I am doing a lot of overeating, but I am not making the best choices.  I am really struggling with getting my mindset in the position to be consistent.  I think the regular exercise is helping, but I am not where I was a year ago, with my eating habits.  It is stressful.  I am starting week 3 of Max 30 today, and I have GAINED 4 pounds.  No joke.  Mentally, I know that I am building muscle, and that I just need to be consistent.  I am slimming down and getting really defined in my chest and shoulders.  However, nobody wants to see the scale go up....especially when you have seen it consistently creep up all year.  I am definitely fighting an uphill battle with this EBV.  I seriously need to get my act together.  I KNOW where I need to make changes in my eating, I just can seem to get myself to do them...consistently.   I am laying it out here...I am one of those people that has what I like to call "fat migration".  I totally made up this term, but this is what I mean....It is when you are trying to actively lose weight, and you drop weight in your arms, legs, face....and it all seem to migrate to your belly.  That is so me.  The place I want to slim up the most...my PROBLEM area...is the last to show any progress...and progress can take MONTHS to peek out in my trouble area.  Do you have this problem too?   This is what really has me frustrated.  I can actually handle the scale going up because I can just NOT step on it and see what the numbers are telling me.  But, when my pants don't fit well, and I can't seem to make progress toward a more comfortable fit in the waist, that I get really frustrated.  As a health and fitness coach, this can really wear on your ability to feel confident in your job.  I am educated enough to know what is going on, but my brain likes to play those "what if" games....

• What if I workout harder and longer?  Straining my already tired body.  Maybe that will help?  You are joking Melissa.  Your body will just CLING to the fat because you will be over training and depleting your nutrition. 
• What if I did a serious calorie depletion to see some result?  Results that will instantly go away when I stop.  Dear Melissa, See the first' what if'.
• What if I just throw in the towel and accept that I am not ever going to be at my goal weight?  This one is HUGE for most people because they just give up.  I can't do that.  I can handle starting over ever morning because it means that I am making progress.  I never want to give up on my health. NOT AN OPTION

Maybe that is the key.  I just need to shift my mental focus on the HEALTH aspect.  After all, I know that if you focus on health, weight loss will come.  The truth is, I just want my pants to feel comfortable again...and I WILL NOT go shopping for a larger size.

You may wonder why I blog about this frustration and stress, instead of focusing on the positive.  the reason is that I am a real person.  Even though I coach others to a healthier lifestyle, I still have my own issues with my weight and health.   I know the answers to my problems, but sometimes it just takes convincing my mindset to follow those steps.  For me, talking with MY coach, and blogging about my journey helps tremendously.  I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH because I have been there too! I AM there.  BUT, I don't give up.  I keep pushing through.